User talk:Tod Naturlich: Difference between revisions

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==[[user talk:Ultimo01|Ultimo01]]==
Hi! You started fixing my story I posted on forum, "Eternal Whores", and wonder if you could continue? I can answer any question.
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==[[user talk:ohtom|ohtom]]==
sorry for being a chore, is the formatting for the casa now correct? (Sorry i dont' know how to link it.) --[[User:ohtom|ohtom]] ([[User talk:ohtom|talk]])
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== [[User talk:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ==
You didn't do anything wrong, there just isn't a subcategory page for the Winterkin yet, as there was no page referencing it.  I'll create the category page.  For future reference one can make a category page by clicking on the red link by Category: at the bottom of the page, adding a short description like <code><nowiki>An index of the pages in the story [[Invasion]].</nowiki></code> Then adding the type of story as the category or (as in this case) a parent category page. --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 16:28, 23 June 2017 (UTC)
Since gravity is directly proportional to mass (as opposed to radius), and they have already found a terrestrial planet that is 5x more massive than the earth in another solar system (Gliese 436 c.) I disagree with the gravity for the Markovik being a problem.  A quick search reveals that (at least one expert) says that a terrestrial planet can be 5-10 times the mass of Earth before it has too much atmosphere and would be considered a gass giant.  On that note, we could get even larger by having a gas giant that had its atmosphere ripped away in a cosmic catastrophe.
You are correct about the fact that a more massive planet ''should'' have a thicker atmosphere.  There are all kinds of things that can happen to a planet's atmosphere, it's a dangerous, unpredictable universe out there.
(I do agree that Chromammalian planet defies the laws of physics as it currently stands BTW.  I was thinking about saying something, but you beat me to it.) --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 14:45, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
I had to delete your pajama image.  Due to the nature of the site as a pedophile friendly zone, we cannot permit photographs of real children regardless of how innocent the image is.  As per the [[Site Rules]] 2.2 -  Non-pornographic content involving real children is not allowed and may result in anything from a warning to a ban depending on the severity of the violation.  I have taken the liberty of finding an alternate image.  If it is not acceptable, please find a drawn or 3D rendered image to replace it with, not a photograph.  --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 15:44, 5 September 2017 (CEST)
For future reference, you can change the title of a page by using the Move action under the More tab in the edit UI.  If you are correcting the Title of a page, that may be a preferred way for you to do it.  I'll delete pages for you if you want me to, but moving the page may be simpler for you.  --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 01:29, 28 September 2017 (CEST)
Deletions completed.  Thanks for helping out the new guy.  That saved me some work. --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 15:19, 6 November 2017 (CET)
I made the deletions requested.  Coincidentally, I would have gotten to them within the next two weeks anyway as the factory I work at is shutdown until after the new year; and I periodically clean out the redirects, unused files, orphaned pages, and the like when I can.  --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 15:55, 15 December 2017 (CET)
Deletion requests are done.  --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 12:17, 21 December 2017 (CET)
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Thank you for the advice on [[Vault 69]].  I'm trying a different way of writing the story that doesn't just explode out into a massive number of branches with no way to tie them back together.  All three branches re-merge into one branch again.  Any options that were added thereafter could have the same thing done with them.  They all go to the same options at the bottom of the page, are you suggesting I break ''that'' off into its own page?  Come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea.  I'll think on it.  --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 13:02, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
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While cleaning up the site, I came across some Orphaned Pages.  These may be a result of me cleaning up double redirects, or something else, but these pages have nothing linking to them.  As the original Author I thought I would point them out to you so you could either try to fix the link that is supposed to lead to them, or blank them to indicate that I am to delete them.  The pages are:
*[[Disciplinary Action/Map]]
--[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 00:35, 30 December 2019 (UTC)
== [[User talk:Foalpoots#Tod Naturlich|Foalpoots]] ==
9267 helixes
9267 → hepta- (7) + hexaconta- (60) + dicta- (200) + nonalia- (9000) = heptahexacontadictanonalia-
--[[User:Foalpoots|Foalpoots]] ([[User talk:Foalpoots|talk]]) 02:28, 29 June 2017 (UTC)
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== [[User talk:Twinklestar#Tod Natürlich|Twinklestar]] ==
Oh thank you. I am going to try it.
[[User:Twinklestar|Twinklestar]] ([[User talk:Twinklestar|talk]])
Okay...?
"[[User:Twinklestar|Twinklestar]] ([[User talk:Twinklestar|talk]]) 23:04, 14 July 2017 (UTC)"
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== [[User talk:Notsooldpervert#Tod Natürlich|Notsooldpervert]] ==
The signature button only seems to appear on the talk/discussion pages. The story pages don't have it (that I've seen)
When I read the title, I thought it would be primarily about spanking. Then I saw the post about a diaper and was like "what the hell?". I think I'll go make a suggestion, (other than diaper wearing, though that did let him see her naked) --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 07:14, 4 September 2017 (CEST)
LOL I was just looking for an excuse for some middle to severe infractions so he could strip one or two, and creampie some others. My main kinks for stories are loli, incest, and impregnation. Throw in a little mind control occasionally and it's all golden lol --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 23:46, 5 September 2017 (CEST)
I agree, anal does nothing for me, and yaoi is a turn off. Rather than cumming inside a girl when she doesn't want to get pregnant, I find it much more arousing to cum in the girl who doesn't quite realize that it leads to pregnancy. o_O --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 03:42, 7 September 2017 (CEST)
I added some suggestions for male punishments in the punishment guidelines page. Tried to make it on par with what the girls have to do, but emasculating the boys instead of impregnating them. Gonna need a some helpers for punishing the boys, since the MC likes girls. --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 04:35, 7 September 2017 (CEST)
I agree with telling her that's what you're trying to do if she already knows, but imagine the girl asking mommy why her new panties and jeans are too tight. --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 18:33, 7 September 2017 (CEST)
The best way I see to combine them is she does something bad enough to get inseminated on a daily basis until you're sure it takes effect. When she starts asking, tell her as you do it again. It's a little unrealistic though, because by the time they're old enough for it to happen, they've got a pretty good idea what causes it. --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 03:29, 8 September 2017 (CEST)
Ok, i thought of a way for suzy and ginny marlow's mom to beg him to fuck the girls. Ginny gets in a little trouble (diaper or PJs) and Suzy pushes a kid for making fun of her. Suzy is then sent to the office for "fighting" which is her first serious offence, but not her first ever, and as we know, the recipient of the "protection" is supposed to get the same punishment. Mom gets called about her "troublemaker kids" and she's mortified that this happened on the tail of Matt's major trouble. She confesses that her husband is devasted at the loss of face, and he was already all too eager to "help punish" the girls. She begs you to choose a punishment that he can't get to the girls, even if it means calling them to your office to fill them with your seed whenever you want to. --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 02:33, 10 October 2017 (CEST)
RESPONSE TO ABOVE (Jemini speaking.) Actually, from the looks of it, I think that may have already been in the plans, looking back at the [[Disciplinary Action/Disciplinary Office/First Quarter|1st quarter]] punishments under the "Students who just couldn't stay out of trouble" section, so that could be a good suggestion for how the fight was motivated. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 08:11, 10 October 2017 (CEST)
No worries. It's just with everything so far, he's only busted a nut in 2 girls (3 counting his sister, snd one was twice... ok i'm greedy lol)--[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 03:44, 10 October 2017 (CEST)
Family and computer issues. February kicked my ass, then the kicks kept coming. Windows update killed my laptop, then when I finally got a replacement, our internet was down for a week, then mom's health caused problems. She's been in and out of the hospital since the beginning of March, and has declined enough that she needs a lot more time and care. She's finally back home, and hopefully stable, so I'm trying to catch up here and the other site. Hopefully before I go to bed I can post on the RP's that I "abandoned". --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 01:36, 6 May 2018 (CEST)
== [[User talk:Jemini#Tod Natürlich|Jemini]] ==
Yeah, the talk pages attached to each section are probably the best. I check the "recent changes" box frequently, so I WILL see any comments you leave in that form.
FYI: I have just made a lot of minor posts in your story. Mostly, this is because I have been sick. I have been using this as an outlet since I can't do much else, but the quality of my writing may be down since I am not all there in the head right now. (Most of the first post I made finishing off the sex scene with Tihana was written before I got sick and saved in a word document, I just finished that one up so most of it should be fine.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 17:52, 25 September 2017 (CEST)


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== Elerneron ==
 
You didn't do anything wrong, there just isn't a subcategory page for the Winterkin yet, as there was no page referencing it. I'll create the category page. For future reference one can make a category page by clicking on the red link by Category: at the bottom of the page, adding a short description like <code><nowiki>An index of the pages in the story [[Invasion]].</nowiki></code> Then adding the type of story as the category or (as in this case) a parent category page. --[[User:Elerneron|Elerneron]] ([[User talk:Elerneron|talk]]) 16:28, 23 June 2017 (UTC)
Sounds good. I just amended the displaced punishment guidelines in order to accommodate and justify the Suzy and Ginny storyline you told me about. At any rate, yeah, this sort of dynamic writing tends to flow from the spontaneous writing style that I use. The only criteria that I base my segments on is the likely reactions of certain characters to certain situations. I am actually a little bad at the base building blocks of character creation, which is why I mostly work with other people's stories, but once I have at least a name, a picture, or their relative relation to some other characters I can fill in the gaps and then from there I can start figuring on how they may react to certain situations. That's how I make my stories.
 
This is why it was that I was able to portray Luana as well as you had commented on. My writing style completely hinges on my understanding of the characters, so the level of writing I put out on that passage is pretty much what is to be expected from my approach to writing. As for my thoughts on the level of bullying Diya was facing, which as we established demonstrated a lack of insight on Luana's character as I had become too attached to August's character in figuring on what he might do and failed to consider the interaction deeply enough, I am quite glad we talked that part over because you were quite right on that one. What I was thinking would make no sense at all for Luana to have not completely flattened the kid.
 
Although there is also the possible angle for her to have been holding back a bit in order to test how John would side on the issue, and then also considering that she has to deal with Freddy Lefort as well and would need to know exactly where she stands before moving a plan forward. It all depends on exactly how intelligent and conniving we want to make her. That is one thing to look out for though. When you push one extreme, like making Diya's abuse by the bullies more extreme, it pushes other extremes by necessity in order to justify it, such as making Luana deviously intelligent and long-thinking and the town officials especially callous. It makes for a lot of intrigue, but at the sacrifice of some believability (however believable the premise of the story is already.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 00:23, 4 October 2017 (CEST)
 
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I'm not sure if you've ever read a light novel called Overlord, but I'm about to pull some stuff with Diya inspired directly by the later volumes in that series. One of the running gags in the series is that things the MC does on a whim wind up having incredible results, and he gets credited for it by everyone around him as though he did that on purpose knowing it was going to turn out that way. It's fairly down from the sorts of things that happen in Overlord (Like accidentally taking over a country simply by deciding to go to a battle arena on a certain day. The name of the series IS Overlord for a reason.) and John is a little more aware of what he's doing than the MC of Overlord, but he's going to get the same kind of credit for it from both sides on this. (Yeahhh... I told you, one of my weaknesses is that I habitually write my characters smart. Just like the last time though, every last part of what's about to happen is perfectly believable.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 14:15, 4 October 2017 (CEST)
 
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I just realized, I was about to write the running in the halls punishment when I realized I had Ginny Marlow included as one of the girls he swept up. That would make this Ginny's first punishment. I knew you had wanted to write that storyline involving her, would you like to write that one or would it not really matter on the first punishment? So far as how I was planning on treating it, it would be fairly similar to Suzy's punishment except that this time he can actually justify just about everything he did there except the part where he leaves the large helping of semen on her pussy beings their disrespectfulness qualifies this as a mid-level infraction. (actually, I may just modify that, I can see them clearing that for a pre-pubescent girl.) It also occured to me while looking over the 3 girls that they actually have 3 of the far less likely parents to raise a fuss if John oversteps his bounds and.. kinda leaves it off of paper. Although, probably not any form of penetration. Touching their pussies with his dick maybe. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 17:39, 4 October 2017 (CEST)
 
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I can think about it with changing the 3rd grader. It actually does kinda work, that would make all three of the parents incredibly permissive to the point John could completely disregard the rules without getting a complaint (the only issue leading to a bad ending being that it would show a pattern of behavior that could get him in trouble if continued.)
 
Anyway, I put some thought into what kinda industry they have in the town, and I actually managed to narrow it down to one that makes any real sense. It can't be anything like cars or shoes. The only kind of manufacturing that gets put out in the middle of nowhere is something that IS in demand, but doesn't see a lot of repeat business from the same localized area. Textiles (clothing) and electronics do sometimes get put out some distance from a big city, but those are often done in India, China, and a few 3rd world countries, this seems to be set in a western country (likely in Europe or Canada, it's certainly not in the US beings prostitution is legal in this town.) So, given those criteria, we are down to only a few options. Steel and other construction grade stuff almost makes the cut, but not quite. Large cities do have more demand of it since they are constantly doing construction. About the only thing that really makes sense is large solar arrays for solar farms (not the newer and smaller solar shingles for individual home use.) That's really about the only thing I can think of that the town could make that fits all the criteria to be in a small hick town in a western country.
 
Also, perfectly on a side note continuing the thing about Overlord, the Anime actually covers the 1st 3 books, every 4 or so episodes being one book (the 3rd book was such a big event that it took 5 episodes and still left a lot of details out, that's the one that involves Shaltear.) Light novels are short by nature, so you can pull stuff like that. Also, the author's writing style lends itself especially well to condensing down his work since his writing style is very similar to JRR Tolken in that he puts a ridiculous amount of effort into describing every detail about how an object looks or how a person delivers just one line. Unlike Tolken though, the author of Overlord does not put details like that in for no reason, I do not think there has been a single one of those ridiculously specific details he has put in that didn't turn out coming back up again later in some way. At any rate, it's easy to condense that down in the anime since all it boils down to is that the artists drawing it have a better guide to work with and less creative liberty to take when drawing exactly what he described, and the people delivering the lines only have to deliver it exactly as the book describes with all the hesitations in the appropriate places, and then suddenly what took practically a page and a half to describe in writing is condensed down into about 5 seconds or less in the anime. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 16:24, 6 October 2017 (CEST)
 
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Actually, another thing that made me think of Solar was the note about the government subsidies. Solar is an industry that really is heavily subsidized by the government. That may even be the key factor that puts Solar ahead of any other candidate, I can't really see a justification for many other industries, apart from agriculture which was not heavily noted as something big in this town, to just get by because of the fact that the government subsidizes it.
 
And, once again continuing with our dual-talk about Overlord, I believe the 1st 3 novels have been officially translated and released in English. There are also fan translations beyond that, but those are a little harder to find since most of the major easy-access ones voluntarily removed all of their Overlord material the very moment it got officially licensed. I'm up to date on it, but most of that's because I read it right as it's being translated. The fresh newly translated stuff is actually easier to find than stuff that's been out for a while. So, I do wish you luck in finding stuff online beyond volume 3, it is certainly enjoyable, but I just found the need to explain it might be a little difficult. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 06:21, 7 October 2017 (CEST)
 
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Yeah, as I said about Overlord, the GOOD fan translations all got taken down willingly by the ones who posted them out of respect for the fact the novels were being officially published. This happened somewhere around volume 7. Volume 7 or 8 BTW is where the running gag I mentioned starts kicking in. Also, it is about volume 11 you start to see some really convincing fan-fictions floating around. These things are good enough to really fool you. The only real tip-off you will get is if Ainz is not quite cruel enough. He is not exactly cruel to begin with, but if you notice the human casualties are a bit lower than normal and are not projected to potentially get worse then what you are reading is probably a fan-fiction. These fan-fictions though are usually written between the time where the teaser summary is released and the real book goes out, so it basically fits to the teaser summary, such as where the adventure takes place and the basic sort of battle that occurs, but there are some major details that are very different between them. The real story of volume 11 is that the Dwarves are fighting off some rat-like creatures called the Qu-golath and are fortunate that Ainz just happened to come by because he was interested in opening trade with the Dwarves, whereas the fan-fiction has them fighting some tar-like shadow creatures and the Dwarves send out an emissary to request help from Ainz who is known at this point. Telling you about volume 12 would be too much of a spoiler at this point though, it re-visits some older plot points that take place in volumes 5 and 6. I might be able to tell you how to tell the difference between the volume 12 fan-fiction and the real volume 12 once you get past there.
 
Anyway, as for the age thing, I actually just noticed that mistake myself. I need to go back and start correcting that. Thanks for the heads up about the gardner/gardiner thing though, I had no idea I was screwing up there. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 00:27, 11 October 2017 (CEST)
 
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Well, starting off "especial" is a very seldom used word. I was actually about to say it's not a word in the English language at all, but I figured I had best look it up before making that statement and was surprised to find it actually was a word. At any rate, to add to the confusion, its meaning actually has nothing to do with the term "especially." Especially is not a modified form of especial, they are completely different words with completely different definitions. At any rate, I think I had best just list off each word with its definition.
 
Special indicates something that is somehow unique or set aside for things that are normal. The term does not specify whether it is different in a good, bad, or neutral way, but is usually not a negative term. It is mostly used to refer to something that has a "special" purpose, its use originating in talk about "specialty" tools, tools that are made for very specific uses that are not useful outside of that very specific context. It is often used a bit more loosely than that though and it would not be incorrect to use it as a catch-all that can replace other more appropriate terms.
 
Especial, as I just discovered from looking it up, has a definition that is somewhat different from "especially." What it means is something that is singled out because it's better. Basically, special in the context of being better. It usually also has the context of being unique, as in the only thing that is that good at whatever it's being judged on.
 
Specially is the adjective form of special, just like it sounds. It is an adjective usually applied to a verb, such as a "special way of making something" could be said instead that the object was "specially made." As in, it was made with a special or unusual process, again with a context that does not say it is better, worse, or of comparable quality.
 
Especially, now come to think of it, actually could be said to be an adjective form of "especial," except that it has gained something of a far looser use that removes the specific "superior" context that is used with "especial." Especially merely means to single something out as unique, as in not a single other thing like it. It is to recieve a unique treatment. For instance, "this item was made especially for you" means that there is not a single other item like that in the world and you have the only one like it.
 
So, bottom line, the difference between "special/specially" and "especial/especially" is in degrees. Special means that it is cut out from the rest of the crowd, and especial means it is completely unique and one of a kind.
 
Sounds more or less good. It's ultimately your story, but thanks for coordinating. I'm probably going to shift this project to the back burner so I can re-focus on The Lewd House since we got a release and are now focussing as a group on the main project. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 03:51, 14 December 2017 (CET)
 
Yeah, I'm usually of the mind-set that if I want to see something I will just write it myself. Usually, the only time I make a request is if I'm trying to get information from the original writer on what makes the characters tick so that way I can actually do justice to them when I decide to write myself. So, I make requests on the lines most likely to yeild that information rather than the items that I actually want to see happen. (because I'm actually wanting to save those for myself to write.) Anyway, I might try just making a normal request or two in order to try and wean myself off my bad habit of over-comitting to too many projects at once. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 06:23, 14 December 2017 (CET)
 
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The issue with using "Master" to refer to young boys is that it is a little TOO archaic. Even if you could justify it with the reasoning you just stated, there are only a very small number of well-educated readers who would have any idea what you are talking about using that term. The slave-ownership meaning of the term "master" is not normally on the mind of most English-speakers (with the exception of a few extremist ideologues,) but the major problem is that most people who speak English associate the term "Master" to mean someone of superior station. About the only context one would expect to see the term used to refer to a young boy would be a butler or some other house servant of lower station than that (butler is actually the highest rank among house-servants,) referring to their employer's son. (And yes, in that highly specific instance, it would be used in the exact context you were using it for here rather than it denoting subservience beings a higher rank hose servant could scold the boy while calling him "master.") At any rate, in any other context the use of that term would be inappropriate.
 
So far as other ways of making things religiously archaic, the general rule is that males are stripped of value and expected to labor, and females are stripped of autonomy and expected to become subservient. Ironically, the reason sex would be more of a punishment for women is because a woman's purity is valued more highly than a man's. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 23:44, 16 December 2017 (CET)
 
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Oh no, the Mrs/Miss thing is something more recently familiar to most English speakers, so that's fine and will be recognized. Also, if you want something to attach to the boys, the use of Mr. to apply to young boys is actually somewhat common in somewhat formal/professional settings like schools or doctor's offices, although you probably won't ever hear it from common people on the street. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 08:06, 17 December 2017 (CET)
 
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Ok, thank you very much. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 21:12, 20 September 2019 (UTC)
 
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FYI: The deal I have going with Alycia Eckles here is that she made a regular thing of picking up her boyfriend for school while Kittie was taken by her parents. Due to them having caught wind of the new policy, they had Alycia take Kittie along so Alycia and her boyfriend would not be alone together. Then, Alycia being an airhead (since that's in her profile) interprets that in order to take Bartholomue to school as she usually does, she has to kick her sister out of the car or else her little sister will "catch" her and Bart alone together. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 10:53, 22 September 2019 (UTC)
 
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Also, I know you had a vision for ending the story after 1 year in-world, and the method you have for the ending makes a lot of sense. However, 1 year time-span really feels too cramped. I think the same ending is possible, but maybe draw it out a little? It's possible to have the doctor take 2 years to get all the results before having the chance to publish. In fact, if she's writing up a proper thesis paper then 3 years is more the time-scale you would be looking at. After that, it's not like it would become a huge public scandal instantly, it's only the people in the upper eschelons of the university that would see her paper. They would want to verify the claims she makes before taking any kind of action, so an investigation would be launched. That can take as long as another year.
 
Extending the timeline will allow for other angles to story-lines such as the reaction to all the little girls becoming mothers and how some of those relationships are playing out. It's ultimately your story since you are the OP for it, but since I have contributed so much I wanted to speak up on the subject in order to try and persuade you in order to get more room to write various scenarios. There would be a very different dynamic in the students in the 2nd year compared to the 1st, for instance. That could be another thing that's interesting to explore. (Also, 4 years actually is more along the lines of IRL timelines for major sex scandals.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 11:13, 22 September 2019 (UTC)


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In terms of the situation of the important people in town, I think we are actually a little too far out to form what that might look like. There are still more establishing scenes needed, such as finishing the bit at the brothel with Diya, there is a lot more that needs to be done with the MC visiting his sister's house and doing stuff with his daughter/nieces, the story-lines for the children of the secretary and headmaster should be progressed, and then we will also need the condition of at least a few of the children.
So far as the Tihana marriage thing goes, most of the reason it was set on the first week is because her mother was, according to the in-story introduction to it, pushing for it to happen immediately. However, I can see it calming down once she has received some assurances the family members will not have to participate in Tihana's punishment.
Anyway, that's six minimum story-lines that need to be played out a little more, 4 specific storylines and 2 vague storylines, before a reasonable idea of what the end might look like can be formed. With that check-list made though, we can start actually focusing on those things. It just doesn't fit well with my writing style to write the ending first. It makes me feel hemmed in and stifles my creativity. (Thus half the reason why I didn't like the 1 year ending time, that idea felt very suffocating to my creativity.) I think it will sit fine with me though if we finish those named story lines first since those are the most likely to come up in the ending. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 18:44, 22 September 2019 (UTC)
== [[User talk:Blackdragon25|BlackDragon]] ==
Thank you for your kind words. I like how the epilogue feature is fitting into the story. I can't guarantee that all of the will be perfect but most will involve some sort of happy angle. Though there maybe a few that end up on the darker side.--[[User:Blackdragon25|Blackdragon25]] ([[User talk:Blackdragon25|talk]]) 08:23, 2 September 2017 (CEST)
== [[User talk:DrAlithe#Tod Natürlich|DrAlithe]] ==
Your story is nice. I do not have much to say since there is a lack of content. However, what I have seen is very good and only has a few minor errors. Currently, I can not wait to see more in the story especially anything with the daughters or sleeping, well actually almost anything really. The only possible complaint is that the male punishment scales up faster than the females what with sex happening a whole tier before.
Alas, that is all I have to say except that most of your writing is good and I didn't realise you were not a native speaker.
--[[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]]) 23:17, 10 September 2017 (CEST)
I do apologize for the signalling problem. It appears I changed the American spelling to the British. I attempt to avoid that mistake, however, some slip through the cracks. [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]])
Also, it is no problem to correct these I find it far more irritating to be unable to correct them. Most of what you do is very good and it tends to be better than some of my classmates. [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]])
There is no difference between the two. It is just a difference in spelling. I can not say I have ever heard of a word for a group of signals and my search turned up no clues, however, for a group of signals I am pretty sure you still just use signals. Hope this clarifies it. [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]])
Amusingly with the italics, I'm pretty sure you had them correct further down on that page and just had the wrong ones in one spot. [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]])
A note for the reddish-brown edit I made. Typically with hair colour, you name the lesser colour first and then the dominant one. [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]])
Butting into this section (Jemini speaking) with a comment on the previous item. Normally wouldn't, but since I know English isn't Tod's first language I felt the need to elaborate on this. What DrAlithe says is correct but there is an exception that requires you to be a lot more wordy where the order could be reversed. You would say she had "brown hair with just a hint of red to it." "Reddish-brown" of course is the much shorter, simpler, and easier way to write it, primarily used in a bio page or a quick run-down about a person. The exception I just mentioned would be used in the context of an actual story if you are in the middle of introducing a character for the first time to the audience and describing them thoroughly as using the more wordy version can, in certain contexts, be better for setting the atmosphere whereas the shorter version can feel more impersonal and distant. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 23:22, 1 October 2017 (CEST)
I must apologise for not responding to your question about especial vs special (Telgar did it more justice), however, now that I have a new keyboard I'll go back to my previous commenting in the edits. [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]]) 03:22, 4 January 2018 (CET)
Are you trying to give any characters specific talking features or patterns or are they all supposed to speak 'proper' English? Besides the children of course since their speech is less complex. [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]]) 03:50, 4 January 2018 (CET)
Accents was the word I was thinking of, however since you don't mean to include any I'll star correcting any of the minor mistakes I see. Also, do have a problem with larger edits such as changing a sentence to read better? [[User:DrAlithe|DrAlithe]] ([[User talk:DrAlithe|talk]]) 04:13, 4 January 2018 (CET)
== [[User talk:Telgar|Telger]] ==
Hello, I really like your story Disciplinary Action and had an idea that I wanted to run by you before I posted it. After a month of the program running, under the Special section a new path would be opened where the main character found a letter from the town council in his mail box, this letter was sent out to all citizens of the town. Below is the letter. I hope I did the formatting correct.
Its Telgar, the others are just type O's which I am notorious for.
I added a new part however the text looks different, not sure what I need to do to change that.
In response to your question about specially and special. Those are the more common terms, However the simplest way of defining when to use the e or not is:  Especial and especially have a more limited use than special and specially. Special is always used in preference to especial when describing something out of the ordinary: a special lesson; he has been specially trained. Special is also used when something is referred to as being for a particular purpose: the word was specially underlined for you. Where an idea of pre-eminence is involved, either especial or especially may be used: he is my especial (or special) friend; he is especially (or specially) good at his job. In informal English, however, special/specially is usually preferred in all contexts. So you use the "e" if it is a formal description or of an event of extreme importance. [[User:telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 21:04, 28 December 2017 (PST)
== [[User talk:Purre|Purre]] ==
Thanks, I'll do that next time.  Originally I was just trying to edit the header to make it easier to follow, but it ended up breaking the links.  After thinking about it, I just ended up copy and pasting on the new links.  But then I had the old ones to still get rid of.  If I need to do this again (and I certainly hope I don't), I will definitely try the Move option.  --[[User:Purre|Purre]] ([[User talk:Purre|talk]]) 02:34, 19 February 2018 (CET)

Latest revision as of 18:14, 20 July 2020

Leave your messages below, separated by a ----


Ultimo01

Hi! You started fixing my story I posted on forum, "Eternal Whores", and wonder if you could continue? I can answer any question.


ohtom

sorry for being a chore, is the formatting for the casa now correct? (Sorry i dont' know how to link it.) --ohtom (talk)


Elerneron

You didn't do anything wrong, there just isn't a subcategory page for the Winterkin yet, as there was no page referencing it. I'll create the category page. For future reference one can make a category page by clicking on the red link by Category: at the bottom of the page, adding a short description like An index of the pages in the story [[Invasion]]. Then adding the type of story as the category or (as in this case) a parent category page. --Elerneron (talk) 16:28, 23 June 2017 (UTC)


Since gravity is directly proportional to mass (as opposed to radius), and they have already found a terrestrial planet that is 5x more massive than the earth in another solar system (Gliese 436 c.) I disagree with the gravity for the Markovik being a problem. A quick search reveals that (at least one expert) says that a terrestrial planet can be 5-10 times the mass of Earth before it has too much atmosphere and would be considered a gass giant. On that note, we could get even larger by having a gas giant that had its atmosphere ripped away in a cosmic catastrophe.

You are correct about the fact that a more massive planet should have a thicker atmosphere. There are all kinds of things that can happen to a planet's atmosphere, it's a dangerous, unpredictable universe out there.

(I do agree that Chromammalian planet defies the laws of physics as it currently stands BTW. I was thinking about saying something, but you beat me to it.) --Elerneron (talk) 14:45, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

I had to delete your pajama image. Due to the nature of the site as a pedophile friendly zone, we cannot permit photographs of real children regardless of how innocent the image is. As per the Site Rules 2.2 - Non-pornographic content involving real children is not allowed and may result in anything from a warning to a ban depending on the severity of the violation. I have taken the liberty of finding an alternate image. If it is not acceptable, please find a drawn or 3D rendered image to replace it with, not a photograph. --Elerneron (talk) 15:44, 5 September 2017 (CEST)

For future reference, you can change the title of a page by using the Move action under the More tab in the edit UI. If you are correcting the Title of a page, that may be a preferred way for you to do it. I'll delete pages for you if you want me to, but moving the page may be simpler for you. --Elerneron (talk) 01:29, 28 September 2017 (CEST)

Deletions completed. Thanks for helping out the new guy. That saved me some work. --Elerneron (talk) 15:19, 6 November 2017 (CET)

I made the deletions requested. Coincidentally, I would have gotten to them within the next two weeks anyway as the factory I work at is shutdown until after the new year; and I periodically clean out the redirects, unused files, orphaned pages, and the like when I can. --Elerneron (talk) 15:55, 15 December 2017 (CET)

Deletion requests are done. --Elerneron (talk) 12:17, 21 December 2017 (CET)


Thank you for the advice on Vault 69. I'm trying a different way of writing the story that doesn't just explode out into a massive number of branches with no way to tie them back together. All three branches re-merge into one branch again. Any options that were added thereafter could have the same thing done with them. They all go to the same options at the bottom of the page, are you suggesting I break that off into its own page? Come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea. I'll think on it. --Elerneron (talk) 13:02, 23 September 2019 (UTC)


While cleaning up the site, I came across some Orphaned Pages. These may be a result of me cleaning up double redirects, or something else, but these pages have nothing linking to them. As the original Author I thought I would point them out to you so you could either try to fix the link that is supposed to lead to them, or blank them to indicate that I am to delete them. The pages are:

--Elerneron (talk) 00:35, 30 December 2019 (UTC)

Foalpoots

9267 helixes

9267 → hepta- (7) + hexaconta- (60) + dicta- (200) + nonalia- (9000) = heptahexacontadictanonalia-

--Foalpoots (talk) 02:28, 29 June 2017 (UTC)


Twinklestar

Oh thank you. I am going to try it.

Twinklestar (talk)

Okay...?

"Twinklestar (talk) 23:04, 14 July 2017 (UTC)"


Notsooldpervert

The signature button only seems to appear on the talk/discussion pages. The story pages don't have it (that I've seen)

When I read the title, I thought it would be primarily about spanking. Then I saw the post about a diaper and was like "what the hell?". I think I'll go make a suggestion, (other than diaper wearing, though that did let him see her naked) --Notsooldpervert (talk) 07:14, 4 September 2017 (CEST)

LOL I was just looking for an excuse for some middle to severe infractions so he could strip one or two, and creampie some others. My main kinks for stories are loli, incest, and impregnation. Throw in a little mind control occasionally and it's all golden lol --Notsooldpervert (talk) 23:46, 5 September 2017 (CEST)

I agree, anal does nothing for me, and yaoi is a turn off. Rather than cumming inside a girl when she doesn't want to get pregnant, I find it much more arousing to cum in the girl who doesn't quite realize that it leads to pregnancy. o_O --Notsooldpervert (talk) 03:42, 7 September 2017 (CEST)

I added some suggestions for male punishments in the punishment guidelines page. Tried to make it on par with what the girls have to do, but emasculating the boys instead of impregnating them. Gonna need a some helpers for punishing the boys, since the MC likes girls. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 04:35, 7 September 2017 (CEST)

I agree with telling her that's what you're trying to do if she already knows, but imagine the girl asking mommy why her new panties and jeans are too tight. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 18:33, 7 September 2017 (CEST)

The best way I see to combine them is she does something bad enough to get inseminated on a daily basis until you're sure it takes effect. When she starts asking, tell her as you do it again. It's a little unrealistic though, because by the time they're old enough for it to happen, they've got a pretty good idea what causes it. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 03:29, 8 September 2017 (CEST)

Ok, i thought of a way for suzy and ginny marlow's mom to beg him to fuck the girls. Ginny gets in a little trouble (diaper or PJs) and Suzy pushes a kid for making fun of her. Suzy is then sent to the office for "fighting" which is her first serious offence, but not her first ever, and as we know, the recipient of the "protection" is supposed to get the same punishment. Mom gets called about her "troublemaker kids" and she's mortified that this happened on the tail of Matt's major trouble. She confesses that her husband is devasted at the loss of face, and he was already all too eager to "help punish" the girls. She begs you to choose a punishment that he can't get to the girls, even if it means calling them to your office to fill them with your seed whenever you want to. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 02:33, 10 October 2017 (CEST)

RESPONSE TO ABOVE (Jemini speaking.) Actually, from the looks of it, I think that may have already been in the plans, looking back at the 1st quarter punishments under the "Students who just couldn't stay out of trouble" section, so that could be a good suggestion for how the fight was motivated. Jemini (talk) 08:11, 10 October 2017 (CEST)

No worries. It's just with everything so far, he's only busted a nut in 2 girls (3 counting his sister, snd one was twice... ok i'm greedy lol)--Notsooldpervert (talk) 03:44, 10 October 2017 (CEST)

Family and computer issues. February kicked my ass, then the kicks kept coming. Windows update killed my laptop, then when I finally got a replacement, our internet was down for a week, then mom's health caused problems. She's been in and out of the hospital since the beginning of March, and has declined enough that she needs a lot more time and care. She's finally back home, and hopefully stable, so I'm trying to catch up here and the other site. Hopefully before I go to bed I can post on the RP's that I "abandoned". --Notsooldpervert (talk) 01:36, 6 May 2018 (CEST)

Jemini

Yeah, the talk pages attached to each section are probably the best. I check the "recent changes" box frequently, so I WILL see any comments you leave in that form.

FYI: I have just made a lot of minor posts in your story. Mostly, this is because I have been sick. I have been using this as an outlet since I can't do much else, but the quality of my writing may be down since I am not all there in the head right now. (Most of the first post I made finishing off the sex scene with Tihana was written before I got sick and saved in a word document, I just finished that one up so most of it should be fine.) Jemini (talk) 17:52, 25 September 2017 (CEST)


Sounds good. I just amended the displaced punishment guidelines in order to accommodate and justify the Suzy and Ginny storyline you told me about. At any rate, yeah, this sort of dynamic writing tends to flow from the spontaneous writing style that I use. The only criteria that I base my segments on is the likely reactions of certain characters to certain situations. I am actually a little bad at the base building blocks of character creation, which is why I mostly work with other people's stories, but once I have at least a name, a picture, or their relative relation to some other characters I can fill in the gaps and then from there I can start figuring on how they may react to certain situations. That's how I make my stories.

This is why it was that I was able to portray Luana as well as you had commented on. My writing style completely hinges on my understanding of the characters, so the level of writing I put out on that passage is pretty much what is to be expected from my approach to writing. As for my thoughts on the level of bullying Diya was facing, which as we established demonstrated a lack of insight on Luana's character as I had become too attached to August's character in figuring on what he might do and failed to consider the interaction deeply enough, I am quite glad we talked that part over because you were quite right on that one. What I was thinking would make no sense at all for Luana to have not completely flattened the kid.

Although there is also the possible angle for her to have been holding back a bit in order to test how John would side on the issue, and then also considering that she has to deal with Freddy Lefort as well and would need to know exactly where she stands before moving a plan forward. It all depends on exactly how intelligent and conniving we want to make her. That is one thing to look out for though. When you push one extreme, like making Diya's abuse by the bullies more extreme, it pushes other extremes by necessity in order to justify it, such as making Luana deviously intelligent and long-thinking and the town officials especially callous. It makes for a lot of intrigue, but at the sacrifice of some believability (however believable the premise of the story is already.) Jemini (talk) 00:23, 4 October 2017 (CEST)


I'm not sure if you've ever read a light novel called Overlord, but I'm about to pull some stuff with Diya inspired directly by the later volumes in that series. One of the running gags in the series is that things the MC does on a whim wind up having incredible results, and he gets credited for it by everyone around him as though he did that on purpose knowing it was going to turn out that way. It's fairly down from the sorts of things that happen in Overlord (Like accidentally taking over a country simply by deciding to go to a battle arena on a certain day. The name of the series IS Overlord for a reason.) and John is a little more aware of what he's doing than the MC of Overlord, but he's going to get the same kind of credit for it from both sides on this. (Yeahhh... I told you, one of my weaknesses is that I habitually write my characters smart. Just like the last time though, every last part of what's about to happen is perfectly believable.) Jemini (talk) 14:15, 4 October 2017 (CEST)


I just realized, I was about to write the running in the halls punishment when I realized I had Ginny Marlow included as one of the girls he swept up. That would make this Ginny's first punishment. I knew you had wanted to write that storyline involving her, would you like to write that one or would it not really matter on the first punishment? So far as how I was planning on treating it, it would be fairly similar to Suzy's punishment except that this time he can actually justify just about everything he did there except the part where he leaves the large helping of semen on her pussy beings their disrespectfulness qualifies this as a mid-level infraction. (actually, I may just modify that, I can see them clearing that for a pre-pubescent girl.) It also occured to me while looking over the 3 girls that they actually have 3 of the far less likely parents to raise a fuss if John oversteps his bounds and.. kinda leaves it off of paper. Although, probably not any form of penetration. Touching their pussies with his dick maybe. Jemini (talk) 17:39, 4 October 2017 (CEST)


I can think about it with changing the 3rd grader. It actually does kinda work, that would make all three of the parents incredibly permissive to the point John could completely disregard the rules without getting a complaint (the only issue leading to a bad ending being that it would show a pattern of behavior that could get him in trouble if continued.)

Anyway, I put some thought into what kinda industry they have in the town, and I actually managed to narrow it down to one that makes any real sense. It can't be anything like cars or shoes. The only kind of manufacturing that gets put out in the middle of nowhere is something that IS in demand, but doesn't see a lot of repeat business from the same localized area. Textiles (clothing) and electronics do sometimes get put out some distance from a big city, but those are often done in India, China, and a few 3rd world countries, this seems to be set in a western country (likely in Europe or Canada, it's certainly not in the US beings prostitution is legal in this town.) So, given those criteria, we are down to only a few options. Steel and other construction grade stuff almost makes the cut, but not quite. Large cities do have more demand of it since they are constantly doing construction. About the only thing that really makes sense is large solar arrays for solar farms (not the newer and smaller solar shingles for individual home use.) That's really about the only thing I can think of that the town could make that fits all the criteria to be in a small hick town in a western country.

Also, perfectly on a side note continuing the thing about Overlord, the Anime actually covers the 1st 3 books, every 4 or so episodes being one book (the 3rd book was such a big event that it took 5 episodes and still left a lot of details out, that's the one that involves Shaltear.) Light novels are short by nature, so you can pull stuff like that. Also, the author's writing style lends itself especially well to condensing down his work since his writing style is very similar to JRR Tolken in that he puts a ridiculous amount of effort into describing every detail about how an object looks or how a person delivers just one line. Unlike Tolken though, the author of Overlord does not put details like that in for no reason, I do not think there has been a single one of those ridiculously specific details he has put in that didn't turn out coming back up again later in some way. At any rate, it's easy to condense that down in the anime since all it boils down to is that the artists drawing it have a better guide to work with and less creative liberty to take when drawing exactly what he described, and the people delivering the lines only have to deliver it exactly as the book describes with all the hesitations in the appropriate places, and then suddenly what took practically a page and a half to describe in writing is condensed down into about 5 seconds or less in the anime. Jemini (talk) 16:24, 6 October 2017 (CEST)


Actually, another thing that made me think of Solar was the note about the government subsidies. Solar is an industry that really is heavily subsidized by the government. That may even be the key factor that puts Solar ahead of any other candidate, I can't really see a justification for many other industries, apart from agriculture which was not heavily noted as something big in this town, to just get by because of the fact that the government subsidizes it.

And, once again continuing with our dual-talk about Overlord, I believe the 1st 3 novels have been officially translated and released in English. There are also fan translations beyond that, but those are a little harder to find since most of the major easy-access ones voluntarily removed all of their Overlord material the very moment it got officially licensed. I'm up to date on it, but most of that's because I read it right as it's being translated. The fresh newly translated stuff is actually easier to find than stuff that's been out for a while. So, I do wish you luck in finding stuff online beyond volume 3, it is certainly enjoyable, but I just found the need to explain it might be a little difficult. Jemini (talk) 06:21, 7 October 2017 (CEST)


Yeah, as I said about Overlord, the GOOD fan translations all got taken down willingly by the ones who posted them out of respect for the fact the novels were being officially published. This happened somewhere around volume 7. Volume 7 or 8 BTW is where the running gag I mentioned starts kicking in. Also, it is about volume 11 you start to see some really convincing fan-fictions floating around. These things are good enough to really fool you. The only real tip-off you will get is if Ainz is not quite cruel enough. He is not exactly cruel to begin with, but if you notice the human casualties are a bit lower than normal and are not projected to potentially get worse then what you are reading is probably a fan-fiction. These fan-fictions though are usually written between the time where the teaser summary is released and the real book goes out, so it basically fits to the teaser summary, such as where the adventure takes place and the basic sort of battle that occurs, but there are some major details that are very different between them. The real story of volume 11 is that the Dwarves are fighting off some rat-like creatures called the Qu-golath and are fortunate that Ainz just happened to come by because he was interested in opening trade with the Dwarves, whereas the fan-fiction has them fighting some tar-like shadow creatures and the Dwarves send out an emissary to request help from Ainz who is known at this point. Telling you about volume 12 would be too much of a spoiler at this point though, it re-visits some older plot points that take place in volumes 5 and 6. I might be able to tell you how to tell the difference between the volume 12 fan-fiction and the real volume 12 once you get past there.

Anyway, as for the age thing, I actually just noticed that mistake myself. I need to go back and start correcting that. Thanks for the heads up about the gardner/gardiner thing though, I had no idea I was screwing up there. Jemini (talk) 00:27, 11 October 2017 (CEST)


Well, starting off "especial" is a very seldom used word. I was actually about to say it's not a word in the English language at all, but I figured I had best look it up before making that statement and was surprised to find it actually was a word. At any rate, to add to the confusion, its meaning actually has nothing to do with the term "especially." Especially is not a modified form of especial, they are completely different words with completely different definitions. At any rate, I think I had best just list off each word with its definition.

Special indicates something that is somehow unique or set aside for things that are normal. The term does not specify whether it is different in a good, bad, or neutral way, but is usually not a negative term. It is mostly used to refer to something that has a "special" purpose, its use originating in talk about "specialty" tools, tools that are made for very specific uses that are not useful outside of that very specific context. It is often used a bit more loosely than that though and it would not be incorrect to use it as a catch-all that can replace other more appropriate terms.

Especial, as I just discovered from looking it up, has a definition that is somewhat different from "especially." What it means is something that is singled out because it's better. Basically, special in the context of being better. It usually also has the context of being unique, as in the only thing that is that good at whatever it's being judged on.

Specially is the adjective form of special, just like it sounds. It is an adjective usually applied to a verb, such as a "special way of making something" could be said instead that the object was "specially made." As in, it was made with a special or unusual process, again with a context that does not say it is better, worse, or of comparable quality.

Especially, now come to think of it, actually could be said to be an adjective form of "especial," except that it has gained something of a far looser use that removes the specific "superior" context that is used with "especial." Especially merely means to single something out as unique, as in not a single other thing like it. It is to recieve a unique treatment. For instance, "this item was made especially for you" means that there is not a single other item like that in the world and you have the only one like it.

So, bottom line, the difference between "special/specially" and "especial/especially" is in degrees. Special means that it is cut out from the rest of the crowd, and especial means it is completely unique and one of a kind.

Sounds more or less good. It's ultimately your story, but thanks for coordinating. I'm probably going to shift this project to the back burner so I can re-focus on The Lewd House since we got a release and are now focussing as a group on the main project. Jemini (talk) 03:51, 14 December 2017 (CET)

Yeah, I'm usually of the mind-set that if I want to see something I will just write it myself. Usually, the only time I make a request is if I'm trying to get information from the original writer on what makes the characters tick so that way I can actually do justice to them when I decide to write myself. So, I make requests on the lines most likely to yeild that information rather than the items that I actually want to see happen. (because I'm actually wanting to save those for myself to write.) Anyway, I might try just making a normal request or two in order to try and wean myself off my bad habit of over-comitting to too many projects at once. Jemini (talk) 06:23, 14 December 2017 (CET)


The issue with using "Master" to refer to young boys is that it is a little TOO archaic. Even if you could justify it with the reasoning you just stated, there are only a very small number of well-educated readers who would have any idea what you are talking about using that term. The slave-ownership meaning of the term "master" is not normally on the mind of most English-speakers (with the exception of a few extremist ideologues,) but the major problem is that most people who speak English associate the term "Master" to mean someone of superior station. About the only context one would expect to see the term used to refer to a young boy would be a butler or some other house servant of lower station than that (butler is actually the highest rank among house-servants,) referring to their employer's son. (And yes, in that highly specific instance, it would be used in the exact context you were using it for here rather than it denoting subservience beings a higher rank hose servant could scold the boy while calling him "master.") At any rate, in any other context the use of that term would be inappropriate.

So far as other ways of making things religiously archaic, the general rule is that males are stripped of value and expected to labor, and females are stripped of autonomy and expected to become subservient. Ironically, the reason sex would be more of a punishment for women is because a woman's purity is valued more highly than a man's. Jemini (talk) 23:44, 16 December 2017 (CET)


Oh no, the Mrs/Miss thing is something more recently familiar to most English speakers, so that's fine and will be recognized. Also, if you want something to attach to the boys, the use of Mr. to apply to young boys is actually somewhat common in somewhat formal/professional settings like schools or doctor's offices, although you probably won't ever hear it from common people on the street. Jemini (talk) 08:06, 17 December 2017 (CET)


Ok, thank you very much. Jemini (talk) 21:12, 20 September 2019 (UTC)


FYI: The deal I have going with Alycia Eckles here is that she made a regular thing of picking up her boyfriend for school while Kittie was taken by her parents. Due to them having caught wind of the new policy, they had Alycia take Kittie along so Alycia and her boyfriend would not be alone together. Then, Alycia being an airhead (since that's in her profile) interprets that in order to take Bartholomue to school as she usually does, she has to kick her sister out of the car or else her little sister will "catch" her and Bart alone together. Jemini (talk) 10:53, 22 September 2019 (UTC)


Also, I know you had a vision for ending the story after 1 year in-world, and the method you have for the ending makes a lot of sense. However, 1 year time-span really feels too cramped. I think the same ending is possible, but maybe draw it out a little? It's possible to have the doctor take 2 years to get all the results before having the chance to publish. In fact, if she's writing up a proper thesis paper then 3 years is more the time-scale you would be looking at. After that, it's not like it would become a huge public scandal instantly, it's only the people in the upper eschelons of the university that would see her paper. They would want to verify the claims she makes before taking any kind of action, so an investigation would be launched. That can take as long as another year.

Extending the timeline will allow for other angles to story-lines such as the reaction to all the little girls becoming mothers and how some of those relationships are playing out. It's ultimately your story since you are the OP for it, but since I have contributed so much I wanted to speak up on the subject in order to try and persuade you in order to get more room to write various scenarios. There would be a very different dynamic in the students in the 2nd year compared to the 1st, for instance. That could be another thing that's interesting to explore. (Also, 4 years actually is more along the lines of IRL timelines for major sex scandals.) Jemini (talk) 11:13, 22 September 2019 (UTC)


In terms of the situation of the important people in town, I think we are actually a little too far out to form what that might look like. There are still more establishing scenes needed, such as finishing the bit at the brothel with Diya, there is a lot more that needs to be done with the MC visiting his sister's house and doing stuff with his daughter/nieces, the story-lines for the children of the secretary and headmaster should be progressed, and then we will also need the condition of at least a few of the children.

So far as the Tihana marriage thing goes, most of the reason it was set on the first week is because her mother was, according to the in-story introduction to it, pushing for it to happen immediately. However, I can see it calming down once she has received some assurances the family members will not have to participate in Tihana's punishment.

Anyway, that's six minimum story-lines that need to be played out a little more, 4 specific storylines and 2 vague storylines, before a reasonable idea of what the end might look like can be formed. With that check-list made though, we can start actually focusing on those things. It just doesn't fit well with my writing style to write the ending first. It makes me feel hemmed in and stifles my creativity. (Thus half the reason why I didn't like the 1 year ending time, that idea felt very suffocating to my creativity.) I think it will sit fine with me though if we finish those named story lines first since those are the most likely to come up in the ending. Jemini (talk) 18:44, 22 September 2019 (UTC)

BlackDragon

Thank you for your kind words. I like how the epilogue feature is fitting into the story. I can't guarantee that all of the will be perfect but most will involve some sort of happy angle. Though there maybe a few that end up on the darker side.--Blackdragon25 (talk) 08:23, 2 September 2017 (CEST)

DrAlithe

Your story is nice. I do not have much to say since there is a lack of content. However, what I have seen is very good and only has a few minor errors. Currently, I can not wait to see more in the story especially anything with the daughters or sleeping, well actually almost anything really. The only possible complaint is that the male punishment scales up faster than the females what with sex happening a whole tier before. Alas, that is all I have to say except that most of your writing is good and I didn't realise you were not a native speaker. --DrAlithe (talk) 23:17, 10 September 2017 (CEST)

I do apologize for the signalling problem. It appears I changed the American spelling to the British. I attempt to avoid that mistake, however, some slip through the cracks. DrAlithe (talk)

Also, it is no problem to correct these I find it far more irritating to be unable to correct them. Most of what you do is very good and it tends to be better than some of my classmates. DrAlithe (talk)

There is no difference between the two. It is just a difference in spelling. I can not say I have ever heard of a word for a group of signals and my search turned up no clues, however, for a group of signals I am pretty sure you still just use signals. Hope this clarifies it. DrAlithe (talk)

Amusingly with the italics, I'm pretty sure you had them correct further down on that page and just had the wrong ones in one spot. DrAlithe (talk)

A note for the reddish-brown edit I made. Typically with hair colour, you name the lesser colour first and then the dominant one. DrAlithe (talk)

Butting into this section (Jemini speaking) with a comment on the previous item. Normally wouldn't, but since I know English isn't Tod's first language I felt the need to elaborate on this. What DrAlithe says is correct but there is an exception that requires you to be a lot more wordy where the order could be reversed. You would say she had "brown hair with just a hint of red to it." "Reddish-brown" of course is the much shorter, simpler, and easier way to write it, primarily used in a bio page or a quick run-down about a person. The exception I just mentioned would be used in the context of an actual story if you are in the middle of introducing a character for the first time to the audience and describing them thoroughly as using the more wordy version can, in certain contexts, be better for setting the atmosphere whereas the shorter version can feel more impersonal and distant. Jemini (talk) 23:22, 1 October 2017 (CEST)

I must apologise for not responding to your question about especial vs special (Telgar did it more justice), however, now that I have a new keyboard I'll go back to my previous commenting in the edits. DrAlithe (talk) 03:22, 4 January 2018 (CET)

Are you trying to give any characters specific talking features or patterns or are they all supposed to speak 'proper' English? Besides the children of course since their speech is less complex. DrAlithe (talk) 03:50, 4 January 2018 (CET)

Accents was the word I was thinking of, however since you don't mean to include any I'll star correcting any of the minor mistakes I see. Also, do have a problem with larger edits such as changing a sentence to read better? DrAlithe (talk) 04:13, 4 January 2018 (CET)

Telger

Hello, I really like your story Disciplinary Action and had an idea that I wanted to run by you before I posted it. After a month of the program running, under the Special section a new path would be opened where the main character found a letter from the town council in his mail box, this letter was sent out to all citizens of the town. Below is the letter. I hope I did the formatting correct.

Its Telgar, the others are just type O's which I am notorious for.

I added a new part however the text looks different, not sure what I need to do to change that.

In response to your question about specially and special. Those are the more common terms, However the simplest way of defining when to use the e or not is: Especial and especially have a more limited use than special and specially. Special is always used in preference to especial when describing something out of the ordinary: a special lesson; he has been specially trained. Special is also used when something is referred to as being for a particular purpose: the word was specially underlined for you. Where an idea of pre-eminence is involved, either especial or especially may be used: he is my especial (or special) friend; he is especially (or specially) good at his job. In informal English, however, special/specially is usually preferred in all contexts. So you use the "e" if it is a formal description or of an event of extreme importance. Telgar (talk) 21:04, 28 December 2017 (PST)

Purre

Thanks, I'll do that next time. Originally I was just trying to edit the header to make it easier to follow, but it ended up breaking the links. After thinking about it, I just ended up copy and pasting on the new links. But then I had the old ones to still get rid of. If I need to do this again (and I certainly hope I don't), I will definitely try the Move option. --Purre (talk) 02:34, 19 February 2018 (CET)