Talk:Smooth Operator: Difference between revisions
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That looks like it does a good job of covering the most pertinent points. There are a few other things I might have tried to include that came to mind as I read it, but they're mainly secondary at best and I've honestly forgotten them already. Thanks for your work, Jemini. [[User:Claws61821|Claws61821]] ([[User talk:Claws61821|talk]]) 13:51, 23 February 2019 (CET) | That looks like it does a good job of covering the most pertinent points. There are a few other things I might have tried to include that came to mind as I read it, but they're mainly secondary at best and I've honestly forgotten them already. Thanks for your work, Jemini. [[User:Claws61821|Claws61821]] ([[User talk:Claws61821|talk]]) 13:51, 23 February 2019 (CET) | ||
@[[User:Claws61821|Claws61821]] I just made a few other minor modifications to it after I saw that [[User:BluePanda|BluePanda]] had listed down 1 to 80 on the main page instead of the 1 to 60 he said to us. Modded it all to be further doublings of the male population from there down the list, adding in 1 to 10 after upping the 15 to a 20, and also added in a little more about the bathrooms. I think the most important modification was where I added in the marriage relations, which are likely to only be around at the 1 to | @[[User:Claws61821|Claws61821]] I just made a few other minor modifications to it after I saw that [[User:BluePanda|BluePanda]] had listed down 1 to 80 on the main page instead of the 1 to 60 he said to us. Modded it all to be further doublings of the male population from there down the list, adding in 1 to 10 after upping the 15 to a 20, and also added in a little more about the bathrooms. I think the most important modification was where I added in the marriage relations, which are likely to only be around at the 1 to 20 point (not even being practiced as an institution at all if the male population is any lower than that.) Marriage, like the mentions of how rape would be treated, are mentioned at every level at and below 1 to 40. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 14:04, 23 February 2019 (CET) | ||
Ok, just did even more edits, this time adding in pre-pubescent girls' knowledge of male genitals and the sexual education standards for boys. I think that's about done now, finally. No more major overhauls to the point it would make giving a second look something you might seriously consider doing. (no promises.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 14:31, 23 February 2019 (CET) | |||
@[[User:BluePanda|BluePanda]] Ok, well, since you seem to have made your choice on the level of population at 1 per 40, I'll start going through and making the appropriate modifications to reactions, at least the reactions of strangers. One question here first though, as mentioned, it would be seen as fine by society here for Jordan to have been sexually trained with his family members as partners, but that depends on his mother's standards. Has his mother done any of this? If so, was it her personally doing it? Or with his sister? If it's with his mother, then has he ever done it with his sister yet? She seemed to be portrayed as a complete virgin at the party. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 22:33, 23 February 2019 (CET) | |||
@[[User:Jemini|Jemini]] Both her children are virgins, I was going to portray her as being reluctant in wanting to teach her children about sex but with the world the way it is, if her children were curious then she would help them any way she could. I was going to start her chapter here "[[Smooth Operator/Powell Home/Moms room|Check moms room]]", her son is going to walk in on her enjoying some me time when he walks in on her, then later she would ask if he had any questions, then a selection of options at the end. | |||
@[[User:BluePanda|BluePanda]] Well, virgin or not, the way Jordan has been portrayed so far makes it seem like he's at least familiar with the idea of sticking his penis into a girl's vagina. So, at the very least it looks like he's had some level of serious sex ed exposure. I listed some ideas for how society might be arranged on a boy's sex ed over on the ratio discussion page under your discussion section. [[Smooth Operator/Male/female ratio discussion|Male/female ratio discussion]]. Those ones having to do with the sex ed specifically are really more the level of suggestions, but they are things that would likely be seen as acceptable by such a society facing this sort of crisis. They would want to be doing what they could to encourage males to start having sex and impregnating females early, even their classmates who are still in school, and society would likely be arranged to help out middle and highschool girls that have gotten pregnant. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 23:43, 23 February 2019 (CET) | |||
Of course, everything I said there can be true and Jordan, as the story premise says, just happens to unintentionally and inexplicably be good at this despite having zero experience. Still, he's likely looked it up on the internet or been told about it by a male friend who has been sexually educated by his mother or something. Actually, that could even be more interesting to play with if his mother has no idea how good Jordan somehow is at this stuff. (especially if he actually hid the fact of his first ejaculation from his mother. He may have heard about it from this theoretical male friend, and maybe had it happen while masturbating in the bathroom or something.) We can, of course, leave the source of his information between internet Vs. friends telling him completely up to reader imagination for the time being. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 00:10, 24 February 2019 (CET) | |||
@[[User:Jemini|Jemini]] - LOL I was just thinking about that last night, would Jordan have any male friend? I was stuck trying to figure out the male to female ratio if their would be somebody his age that he would get along with. I almost gave Gabby an older brother but that just wouldn't work I don't think. | |||
One other thing I thought about doing is giving him a guy friend that is in high school that helps teach him stuff (kinda like a dad figure almost, someone he feels confident talking to about stuff like his first ejac.) and gives him lesson from self experience, giving Jordan a bit of his porn stash to go over. | |||
I want to introduce a character like that through normal story progression, but then people would have to stumble upon that path in order to understand how Jordan had obtained that knowledge. | |||
Maybe a short prequel is needed for this part. [[User:BluePanda|BluePanda]] ([[User talk:BluePanda|talk]]) 18:01, 23 February 2019 (CET) | |||
Actually, that older male friend bit is freaking PERFECT. That would clear up literally 100% of all the inconsistencies in Jordan's behavior Vs. the narrative. As for what I mentioned about the sex ed for males Vs. females, the male sex ed with a hands-on component would more likely be an option as a freshman in highschool. Before that it would be expected to be taught by the mother, since middle schoolers are known to be a lot more impulsive and irresponsible. The female sex-ed class is likely in middle school, but nearly all of the focus would be on drilling into them to be respectful of male boundaries and they would likely declare same-age males off limits to them as their school policy for the sake of the males, exceptions made only if it's the male who comes onto them. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 01:23, 24 February 2019 (CET) | |||
Oh, BTW, yes at 1 to 40 it would be perfectly reasonable for Jordan to have a close-age male friend. If we are also going with the older male friend idea though, it would probably be a good idea to not make Jordan's close-age friend especially sexually aware or capable. At any rate, it's very much the case that males would probably find each other to talk to and associate with, and there are likely 1 or 2 other males at his grade level. They probably all know each other by name and have all spoken to each other, the only question is whether or not they like to hang out together. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 01:28, 24 February 2019 (CET) | |||
@[[User:Jemini|Jemini]] - You have been so helpful with my first story, thank you for all your help, I know you have a lot on you plate already with your stories and your games. I was wondering, if you don't mind, if I put you on here as "Supervising Editor"? or just "Editor", you've really helped smooth a lot of cracks. | |||
I added Jordan's friend to the "[[User talk:BluePanda/character sheet|Character Sheet]]" [[User:BluePanda|BluePanda]] ([[User talk:BluePanda|talk]]) 18:46, 23 February 2019 (CET) | |||
No problem. I really like seeing new writers on here, and I also always like having a little fun project I can add a few posts to in order to break up the monotony of the bigger projects that start to feel more like work. You can feel free to add me as whatever role you feel is appropriate for that. [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 02:27, 24 February 2019 (CET) | |||
---- | |||
I'm not a huge fan of furry, but the plot is fairly intriguing --[[User:Notsooldpervert|Notsooldpervert]] ([[User talk:Notsooldpervert|talk]]) 16:00, 11 August 2019 (UTC) |
Latest revision as of 16:00, 11 August 2019
Okay yeah. That's pretty much what I meant, BluePanda. Thanks for adding that. Claws61821 (talk) 03:05, 23 February 2019 (CET)
I updated it just now, with a better synopses tell me what you think when you get a chance. BluePanda (talk) 20:56, 22 February 2019 (CET)
It looks good. Might want to find a way to break up the first section into shorter sentences and a few different paragraphs, though; it's a slightly awkward read on mobile in its current layout. Claws61821 (talk) 09:45, 23 February 2019 (CET)
It's a pretty interesting scenario. Also, with this back-story, wouldn't Jordan having sex with 6 and 7 year olds still be considered illegal? Then again, statutory rape could be downgraded to a misdemeanor for juveniles. At any rate, the one thing it leaves out is just how adaptable society can be. Given this scenario, 1 male to every 160 females would change sexual dynamics a great deal. It would very much be society flipped on its head to where males were considered sexually innocent in everything they do and women would really be throwing themselves at any and all fertile males. If he was caught having sex with an underage girl, he would most likely just be scolded a little for wasting his semen on someone who can't get pregnant and encouraged to do it with an older girl, likely with an offer attached to it. Jemini (talk) 09:58, 23 February 2019 (CET)
Actually, this change in back story would alter a LOT of things. For one, younger girls are less likely to even know what a penis is unless the society has shifted to start giving them a very explicit sex education from a rather early age in order to make them more receptive to a boy having sex with them. For two, it would mean a lot of the girls who don't know Jordan would be more likely to be surprised when they realize it's a boy talking to them and might get a lot more nervous. All this said, I actually really like unusual scenarios like this. I'm willing to go through and make the necessary alterations if you want. I just need to know whether or not you want to go the route of the early and explicit sex education. (Personally, as someone who likes ignorant impregnation and finds the innocence angle appealing, I would prefer not. However, as the one who started this story, it's entirely up to you.) Jemini (talk) 10:04, 23 February 2019 (CET)
@Jemini - For the first question, yes, him having sex with girls underage and unable to get pregnant would be looked down upon but he won't get in a lot trouble and it's only if he gets caught. I think society would still try to keep things civil and organized during all this chaos, they would try and make sure that all remaining males are comfortable in current society so they aren't forced or repulsed by multiple partner procreation. I think in this world mothers and teachers would still teach their children about the birds and the bees and the differences between boys and girls even if the classroom is all girls and since this is a anthropomorphic world, sex is still kind of like an instinct to them. "someone who likes ignorant impregnation and finds the innocence angle appealing" same here so I think the education should stay the same and it wouldn't make sense to teach them young when they wouldn't have any use for it till years down the road. But I think society wouldn't stop them from getting their hands on that material and learning it on their own though.
@Claws61821 - Alrighty, I'll take a crack at it.
BluePanda (talk) 04:20, 23 February 2019 (CET)
So, can I take the lack of a mention of early sex education in your recent update (that was after I made the 2 above posts) as confirmation on there not being explicit sex education in this setting? Also, what do you want to do with the 2 mentions of other boys at Gabby's party? It would be believable for there to be 1 other boy, but 2 is pushing it a little as having 3 boys under the same roof in a house full of girls in such a society would likely make everyone think the boys were invited explicitly in the hopes they would be doing something sexual with the girls. If it's just 1 other boy, it can be waved off as a coincidence where the younger boy was invited normally and the older boy Jordan just happened to show up. Jemini (talk) 10:59, 23 February 2019 (CET)
Taking the last few messages into account, my recommendation would be to lessen the severity of the impotency epidemic. If you change the 1:160 ratio to something still significant but far less extreme, you can keep most of your important plot elements and some major cultural changes without, as Jemini mentioned, making young boys as rare as hens' teeth and making their presence some sordid proclamation. Claws61821 (talk) 11:20, 23 February 2019 (CET)
@Jemini & @Claws61821 - yeah I'm going to edit the count, maybe 80-1? or 60-1. 60-1 might be believable with Jordan, Nicky and Gabby's father being in the same area.
@Jemini & @BluePanda - Let's look at this mathematically. The average population of a single classroom in a large city in the US tends to range between 20-30 students. If you assume five classes per grade and a boy to girl ratio of 1:30, that gives you 3-5 boys per grade per school; call it 18-30 boys total for an elementary school, 9-15 for a middle school, and 12-20 for a highschool. That's out of 600-900, 300-450, and 400-600 students, respectively. That's twice as many boys as what you're suggesting. The current ratio IRL is all but 1:1 in the US and UK from birth up to age 55+. Does 1:60 still fit your scenario? Claws61821 (talk) 12:33, 23 February 2019 (CET)
^ I second this.Jemini (talk) 12:51, 23 February 2019 (CET)
I think, for reference sake, I will make a link to a subject discussion on this topic where I can go into more detail of what to expect on what ratios so far as how society would alter to that ratio in a realistic scenario. Male/female ratio discussion Jemini (talk) 13:37, 23 February 2019 (CET)
That looks like it does a good job of covering the most pertinent points. There are a few other things I might have tried to include that came to mind as I read it, but they're mainly secondary at best and I've honestly forgotten them already. Thanks for your work, Jemini. Claws61821 (talk) 13:51, 23 February 2019 (CET)
@Claws61821 I just made a few other minor modifications to it after I saw that BluePanda had listed down 1 to 80 on the main page instead of the 1 to 60 he said to us. Modded it all to be further doublings of the male population from there down the list, adding in 1 to 10 after upping the 15 to a 20, and also added in a little more about the bathrooms. I think the most important modification was where I added in the marriage relations, which are likely to only be around at the 1 to 20 point (not even being practiced as an institution at all if the male population is any lower than that.) Marriage, like the mentions of how rape would be treated, are mentioned at every level at and below 1 to 40. Jemini (talk) 14:04, 23 February 2019 (CET)
Ok, just did even more edits, this time adding in pre-pubescent girls' knowledge of male genitals and the sexual education standards for boys. I think that's about done now, finally. No more major overhauls to the point it would make giving a second look something you might seriously consider doing. (no promises.) Jemini (talk) 14:31, 23 February 2019 (CET)
@BluePanda Ok, well, since you seem to have made your choice on the level of population at 1 per 40, I'll start going through and making the appropriate modifications to reactions, at least the reactions of strangers. One question here first though, as mentioned, it would be seen as fine by society here for Jordan to have been sexually trained with his family members as partners, but that depends on his mother's standards. Has his mother done any of this? If so, was it her personally doing it? Or with his sister? If it's with his mother, then has he ever done it with his sister yet? She seemed to be portrayed as a complete virgin at the party. Jemini (talk) 22:33, 23 February 2019 (CET)
@Jemini Both her children are virgins, I was going to portray her as being reluctant in wanting to teach her children about sex but with the world the way it is, if her children were curious then she would help them any way she could. I was going to start her chapter here "Check moms room", her son is going to walk in on her enjoying some me time when he walks in on her, then later she would ask if he had any questions, then a selection of options at the end.
@BluePanda Well, virgin or not, the way Jordan has been portrayed so far makes it seem like he's at least familiar with the idea of sticking his penis into a girl's vagina. So, at the very least it looks like he's had some level of serious sex ed exposure. I listed some ideas for how society might be arranged on a boy's sex ed over on the ratio discussion page under your discussion section. Male/female ratio discussion. Those ones having to do with the sex ed specifically are really more the level of suggestions, but they are things that would likely be seen as acceptable by such a society facing this sort of crisis. They would want to be doing what they could to encourage males to start having sex and impregnating females early, even their classmates who are still in school, and society would likely be arranged to help out middle and highschool girls that have gotten pregnant. Jemini (talk) 23:43, 23 February 2019 (CET)
Of course, everything I said there can be true and Jordan, as the story premise says, just happens to unintentionally and inexplicably be good at this despite having zero experience. Still, he's likely looked it up on the internet or been told about it by a male friend who has been sexually educated by his mother or something. Actually, that could even be more interesting to play with if his mother has no idea how good Jordan somehow is at this stuff. (especially if he actually hid the fact of his first ejaculation from his mother. He may have heard about it from this theoretical male friend, and maybe had it happen while masturbating in the bathroom or something.) We can, of course, leave the source of his information between internet Vs. friends telling him completely up to reader imagination for the time being. Jemini (talk) 00:10, 24 February 2019 (CET)
@Jemini - LOL I was just thinking about that last night, would Jordan have any male friend? I was stuck trying to figure out the male to female ratio if their would be somebody his age that he would get along with. I almost gave Gabby an older brother but that just wouldn't work I don't think. One other thing I thought about doing is giving him a guy friend that is in high school that helps teach him stuff (kinda like a dad figure almost, someone he feels confident talking to about stuff like his first ejac.) and gives him lesson from self experience, giving Jordan a bit of his porn stash to go over. I want to introduce a character like that through normal story progression, but then people would have to stumble upon that path in order to understand how Jordan had obtained that knowledge. Maybe a short prequel is needed for this part. BluePanda (talk) 18:01, 23 February 2019 (CET)
Actually, that older male friend bit is freaking PERFECT. That would clear up literally 100% of all the inconsistencies in Jordan's behavior Vs. the narrative. As for what I mentioned about the sex ed for males Vs. females, the male sex ed with a hands-on component would more likely be an option as a freshman in highschool. Before that it would be expected to be taught by the mother, since middle schoolers are known to be a lot more impulsive and irresponsible. The female sex-ed class is likely in middle school, but nearly all of the focus would be on drilling into them to be respectful of male boundaries and they would likely declare same-age males off limits to them as their school policy for the sake of the males, exceptions made only if it's the male who comes onto them. Jemini (talk) 01:23, 24 February 2019 (CET)
Oh, BTW, yes at 1 to 40 it would be perfectly reasonable for Jordan to have a close-age male friend. If we are also going with the older male friend idea though, it would probably be a good idea to not make Jordan's close-age friend especially sexually aware or capable. At any rate, it's very much the case that males would probably find each other to talk to and associate with, and there are likely 1 or 2 other males at his grade level. They probably all know each other by name and have all spoken to each other, the only question is whether or not they like to hang out together. Jemini (talk) 01:28, 24 February 2019 (CET)
@Jemini - You have been so helpful with my first story, thank you for all your help, I know you have a lot on you plate already with your stories and your games. I was wondering, if you don't mind, if I put you on here as "Supervising Editor"? or just "Editor", you've really helped smooth a lot of cracks.
I added Jordan's friend to the "Character Sheet" BluePanda (talk) 18:46, 23 February 2019 (CET)
No problem. I really like seeing new writers on here, and I also always like having a little fun project I can add a few posts to in order to break up the monotony of the bigger projects that start to feel more like work. You can feel free to add me as whatever role you feel is appropriate for that. Jemini (talk) 02:27, 24 February 2019 (CET)
I'm not a huge fan of furry, but the plot is fairly intriguing --Notsooldpervert (talk) 16:00, 11 August 2019 (UTC)