Talk:Mother's Helping Hand/Start: Difference between revisions
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Oh, this list will ABSOLUTELY have overlap. This list is not designed to be neat, it's designed to make narrative sense. It should be fine though, and now that I've made some more progress I think it should also fill your need for a hub point to go back to, and even do more in the direction of this "sense of progress" you were wanting with how the "after the first girl" section is arranged. I have kept the list exactly as you had it before, except now it is under "list." Also, the concern about too many layers is broken up just a little with some story at each junction, and it's arranged in such a way so that, at least for the 1st girl, there really aren't THAT many layers. (The later ones would have a few more layers though, I had to arrange it that way so the start page didn't get too crowded.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 05:49, 4 March 2020 (CET) | Oh, this list will ABSOLUTELY have overlap. This list is not designed to be neat, it's designed to make narrative sense. It should be fine though, and now that I've made some more progress I think it should also fill your need for a hub point to go back to, and even do more in the direction of this "sense of progress" you were wanting with how the "after the first girl" section is arranged. I have kept the list exactly as you had it before, except now it is under "list." Also, the concern about too many layers is broken up just a little with some story at each junction, and it's arranged in such a way so that, at least for the 1st girl, there really aren't THAT many layers. (The later ones would have a few more layers though, I had to arrange it that way so the start page didn't get too crowded.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 05:49, 4 March 2020 (CET) | ||
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Okay it's grown on me, I kinda like it. Would love to see what you would do with one of these girls. Well I need to get a few hours sleep, and then finish the bios for the girls I already made. Then look into expanding some of the families. [[User:Telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 20:49, 3 March 2020 (PST) | |||
Revision as of 04:53, 4 March 2020
Looks like it's going to be an interesting story. Might I suggest links to the characters' bios on this page, so you can know who you're choosing? --Notsooldpervert (talk) 00:06, 4 March 2020 (CET)
Give the premise, I think it needs some more generalized options. Like, maybe a kink and the picture only of a person who fits the kink. Jemini (talk) 00:41, 4 March 2020 (CET)
My suggestions for categories. Age based
- Older/experienced
- Girlfriend material (Highschool girls)
- Barely pubescent (middle school)
- Extremely young (Elementary school)
Kink based
- Mind control
- Naive/innocent girl
- Spunky/resistant girl
- Problemed girl
Also, it could be interesting and appropriate to set this entire story up into chapters based not on time but on the MC's progress on getting from beta to alpha. Make him really pathetic near the start and in need of a lot of encouragement to do anything with the girl and then have him get more confident and domineering later down the road. Jemini (talk) 01:33, 4 March 2020 (CET)
Yeah I agree with the need for development, Girls like Sarah Harper are going to be hard for a Beta like Jack is now. Having to first help her deal with her issues, then after that, get into the seduction. Or women of strong conviction like Tammy Garfield.
He should probably start with a younger girl maybe Middle School age, someone he can relate to, but not be intimidated by.
But please don't wait for me to start anything if you see a girl and kink that Sparks your interest go for it.Telgar (talk) 16:40 3 March 2020 (PST)
Okay I tried out your suggestion with Emily and Sarah, to show two extremes on the spectrum. Let me know what you think. Telgar (talk) 17:53, 3 March 2020 (PST)
Hmm... not exactly what I had meant by kinks. Do you mind if I throw a bit of an overhaul to the start page? What I have in mind will be a little redundant, having some categories with the same girl repeated in a few different categories, but it should have a little less "leudo-narrative dissonance" to it. (leudo-narrative dissonance is when a mechanic in how something is presented disagrees with the narrative of the story that's trying to be told.) The current arrangement is definitely the most efficient, but it just doesn't seem to have the right flow for the theme we're supposed to be working with in my opinion. Suddenly choosing off a list broken down by age and grade just doesn't flow very well after the way the previous page ended. Jemini (talk) 04:35, 4 March 2020 (CET)
Sure give it a shot I'm always open to suggestions ,as long as there is some way to go back I'd I don't like it 🙂 Telgar (talk) 19:41, 3 March 2029 (PST)
Ok, I've started my revision, not finished yet. Still needs to have the content already there transferred over.
Interesting way to do it, but one of the things I was trying to avoid was pushing the reader through too many layers before they get to the meat if the story, also kinda wanted a place where you can keep going back to, and see the path progressing like with Disciplinary Actions.
I'm worried with the way you're suggesting the girls will get burried, maybe even overlap on some cases. With Emily Johnson she would fit in both extremely young and sluty, as her promiscuous behavior would make it easy to turn her into a baby slut.
I do understand a little of why your suggesting breaking it down more as the list has the potential to get HUGE. Telgar (talk) 20:24, 3 March 2020 (PST)
Oh, this list will ABSOLUTELY have overlap. This list is not designed to be neat, it's designed to make narrative sense. It should be fine though, and now that I've made some more progress I think it should also fill your need for a hub point to go back to, and even do more in the direction of this "sense of progress" you were wanting with how the "after the first girl" section is arranged. I have kept the list exactly as you had it before, except now it is under "list." Also, the concern about too many layers is broken up just a little with some story at each junction, and it's arranged in such a way so that, at least for the 1st girl, there really aren't THAT many layers. (The later ones would have a few more layers though, I had to arrange it that way so the start page didn't get too crowded.) Jemini (talk) 05:49, 4 March 2020 (CET)
Okay it's grown on me, I kinda like it. Would love to see what you would do with one of these girls. Well I need to get a few hours sleep, and then finish the bios for the girls I already made. Then look into expanding some of the families. Telgar (talk) 20:49, 3 March 2020 (PST)