Difference between revisions of "Talk:Disciplinary Action/Disciplinary Office/First Quarter/Letter/window/Parents/School/front"

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(Dialogue)
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I got the idea of Mrs. Varano, from earlier things where she got excited about John impregnating Tihana, her extreme reaction to having sex with her son and some subtler hints in other areas. I see it as a repressed sexual thing that is being expressed with the children because as of right now that is the only outlet. Eventually as the townsfolk begin to express themselves more sexually, other perversions will come out, this is jut the first. Hence why I have the MC thinking about the subject so much. I don't see Mrs. Varano being a slut or even wanting to have sex with the children herself as much as she is becoming a voyeur, enjoying the corruption of those around her. It starts with the kids and expands as more kinks are revealed in the town, it also does not help that John is pushing her to react this way, many people do and say things they regret, during the heat of passion. However in the end it is your story and if you want I will tone it down. [[User:Telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 20:49, 29 December 2017 (PST)
I got the idea of Mrs. Varano, from earlier things where she got excited about John impregnating Tihana, her extreme reaction to having sex with her son and some subtler hints in other areas. I see it as a repressed sexual thing that is being expressed with the children because as of right now that is the only outlet. Eventually as the townsfolk begin to express themselves more sexually, other perversions will come out, this is jut the first. Hence why I have the MC thinking about the subject so much. I don't see Mrs. Varano being a slut or even wanting to have sex with the children herself as much as she is becoming a voyeur, enjoying the corruption of those around her. It starts with the kids and expands as more kinks are revealed in the town, it also does not help that John is pushing her to react this way, many people do and say things they regret, during the heat of passion. However in the end it is your story and if you want I will tone it down. [[User:Telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 20:49, 29 December 2017 (PST)
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It's our story, I'm just another author, I express my opinion and I expect you to do the same, then we can reach an agreement. I do have some bad experience reading erotic stories where they lose me after they get too much over the top in sexual situations, beyond where I can maintain my suspension of disbelief. That is something I don't want to happen to this one, at least too fast. The story has a scheduled length of one school year, beginning in September, and by the end of the year I wound't mind that people were fucking in the streets. But right now we're only a month or two into the story, where Tihana's punishment is seen as a extraordinary thing and people are only starting to get used to even know what is happening. I mean, the children hadn't even had a big break to spill the beans at home of all they have seen.
Back to the issue at hand, I got the impression from what I read that Mrs. Varano wanted to actually participate in the rape of the girls, and that is what struck me as odd. If all she wants is to see it, and derives pleasure from watching as you say, that is something I can understand. Perhaps the only thing would be to have her being a little bit more discrete about her horniness before John tells her to cut the bullshit, and only after that have her come out, perhaps a bit ashamed of being discovered, mixed with her eagerness.
The one thing I'm really not seeing is her offering her daughter. It's clear she loves her children, and she even went with her daughter to the nurse to make sure the treatment wouldn't do anything to her, so I think her daughter would be off-limits to her (at least at first, who knows what can happen during the year).--[[User:Tod Naturlich|Tod Naturlich]] ([[User talk:Tod Naturlich|talk]]) 06:05, 29 December 2017 (CET)

Revision as of 05:05, 29 December 2017

I'm not completely sure I like Mrs. Varano turning out to be such a slut. Sure, she doesn't like the town, she resent them for a lot and she has a lot of guilt feelings over the suicide of his husband and her affair with the headmaster. But from not caring that the children in the community turn out pregnant to actually wanting to participate I feel it a bit of a stretch. I always felt she derived more pleasure from knowing the children were being defiled than from actually seeing it or participating on it.

As you said, it's starting to appear that "this whole fucking town is a bunch of pedophiles", and that is something I didn't intended. John is a pedophile, as well as Mrs. Walton, but other than that people just have their particular attractions, not especially towards children. Beatriz wants John and her daughters' happiness, and is willing to rationalize that they can be happy with him. Tihana's parents don't care about her, so they see John as a good excuse to get rid of her (or at least that's what I understand from Jemini's writting), Mr. Loso likes young girls, but only about 15 or so. The headmaster is in the closet, and willing to do it with boys as an "acceptable" excuse. Perhaps the only other pedophile would be Ashton, and maybe he's more interested in incest than actual children. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 05:00, 29 December 2017 (CET)


I got the idea of Mrs. Varano, from earlier things where she got excited about John impregnating Tihana, her extreme reaction to having sex with her son and some subtler hints in other areas. I see it as a repressed sexual thing that is being expressed with the children because as of right now that is the only outlet. Eventually as the townsfolk begin to express themselves more sexually, other perversions will come out, this is jut the first. Hence why I have the MC thinking about the subject so much. I don't see Mrs. Varano being a slut or even wanting to have sex with the children herself as much as she is becoming a voyeur, enjoying the corruption of those around her. It starts with the kids and expands as more kinks are revealed in the town, it also does not help that John is pushing her to react this way, many people do and say things they regret, during the heat of passion. However in the end it is your story and if you want I will tone it down. Telgar (talk) 20:49, 29 December 2017 (PST)



It's our story, I'm just another author, I express my opinion and I expect you to do the same, then we can reach an agreement. I do have some bad experience reading erotic stories where they lose me after they get too much over the top in sexual situations, beyond where I can maintain my suspension of disbelief. That is something I don't want to happen to this one, at least too fast. The story has a scheduled length of one school year, beginning in September, and by the end of the year I wound't mind that people were fucking in the streets. But right now we're only a month or two into the story, where Tihana's punishment is seen as a extraordinary thing and people are only starting to get used to even know what is happening. I mean, the children hadn't even had a big break to spill the beans at home of all they have seen.

Back to the issue at hand, I got the impression from what I read that Mrs. Varano wanted to actually participate in the rape of the girls, and that is what struck me as odd. If all she wants is to see it, and derives pleasure from watching as you say, that is something I can understand. Perhaps the only thing would be to have her being a little bit more discrete about her horniness before John tells her to cut the bullshit, and only after that have her come out, perhaps a bit ashamed of being discovered, mixed with her eagerness.

The one thing I'm really not seeing is her offering her daughter. It's clear she loves her children, and she even went with her daughter to the nurse to make sure the treatment wouldn't do anything to her, so I think her daughter would be off-limits to her (at least at first, who knows what can happen during the year).--Tod Naturlich (talk) 06:05, 29 December 2017 (CET)