Talk:Mother's Helping Hand/Sight/Virgin/kinder/Dannie/Ass/mom/Yes/Hold
Personally, I don't think it really makes a lot of sense for a 6 year old to enjoy gagging on a person's cock. Kids that age are fairly egocentric and don't enjoy discomfort much for it's own sake. However, they are also EXTREMELY eager to please. So, it is entirely believable that she would lie and say she enjoyed it just to make everyone happy. They might even quickly start to believe the lie and try to show off by submitting themselves to more discomfort because they think it will get them the approval they crave. It would be entirely possible to implement this approach while keeping all her actions identical, it would just need a slight re-working of the dialogue and more hesitation on Dannie's part at certain points.
Maybe some involuntary tears that Jack asks her about and she tries to deny. Or, maybe Jack comments or apologizes for her choking on his dick, your mother says that it's Ok because good little toys enjoy making their masters happy and making them feel good, at which Dannie enthusiastically agrees with your mom and over-enthusiastically rams herself back down on your cock to the point she starts choking and has to stop for a second. Little difficulties in the situation that make the scenario more believable, especially when the solutions or mitigating factors that allow those difficulties to pass fit into something that's very realistic. In the scenario I just gave, even though she didn't like having just been forced by your mom to gag on your dick, she was subsequently encouraged by how much Jack seemed to enjoy it and that was enough for her to more than get over it and even want to do more of the same. She doesn't enjoy the physical sensation but she absolutely eats up the fact that Jack enjoyed it and desperately wants to please him to the point she even forgets about how much she disliked what was just done to her a second ago and has already told herself she actually enjoyed it. Jemini (talk) 20:17, 17 March 2020 (CET)
Okay reworked the dialog to show that she doesn't like or hate the oral part but is willing to do it because Jack likes it. Butt she really likes him playing with her ass. --Telgar (talk) 22:02, 17 March 2020 (CET)
Ok, that's too conscientious for a child her age now. I was thinking some himming and hawing, and then after she realizes he likes it she has a moment of hesitation before becoming extremely enthusiastic and happy. I think it would require a MUCH larger modification of the text than this. In fact, this current version is kinda less believable than the previous. Kids her age do not like making other people happy, actually. They like getting approval. Yes, they like making others happy, but that's only because they've associated it with the gratification they get from the approval that follows. They like being seen as a nice person. A kid her age would not spew these lines about "if it makes master happy" and all that. It would be more like "did I do wrong? What was I supposed to do? Does that mean I was good? Did you like what I did? Did I do a good thing?" Jemini (talk) 00:04, 18 March 2020 (CET)
Okay reworked it some more. Don't want to show too much reluctance or selfishness, because a big part of Dannie's personality is her desire to make others happy, especially Jack. --Telgar (talk) 01:37, 18 March 2020 (CET)
Ok, yeah, that's exactly what I was talking about. Looks great now. Jemini (talk) 02:52, 18 March 2020 (CET)
Ok, I modified the one paragraph with the line about the fake smile in it. Just saying straight up it's fake both doesn't quite sell it fully and also becomes a little incongruous with the rest of the context that follows. So, I re-wrote it more from the perspective of the emotions and the inferences than the facts and the truth. Jemini (talk) 03:03, 18 March 2020 (CET)
Kinda waiting for a vote for this. So if someone could kindly make a request, I'll happily continue. --Telgar (talk) 10:37, 19 March 2020 (CET)
I sorted out the grammar and punctuation and took some liberties with the text, hopefully without changing anything important. I'll come back to it tomorrow as I think there is more to do.
--Santa (talk) 10:00, 25 April 2020 (CET)
Okay, please in the he future do not take liberties with the text. I write descriptive text as a do for a reason. I don't mind edits that fix spelling and grammar but no not like editing that changes my dialog, descriptions or the actions of the characters. Now I'm going to have to rewrite the entire sceen and undo most of your changes. Please in the future, if you feel a sceen could be written better, discuss the changes with me and show me how you want to re-write it, but do not just change my sceens.
Thank you