Vault 69/Orientation

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You enter through the massive gear-like Vault door, and try to take everything in as you are hurried through the door sealing chamber. Most of your fear has evaporated with the prospect of adventure, and the presumed safety of the Vault. Casey clings to your mom as she holds Gina, which leaves you still holding Shelly's hand. You don't mind really. Your sister is sweet, and generally not the nuisance popular culture makes younger siblings out to be. You reach a point in the passage where a woman in a blue suit with the number 69 on it is greeting residents.


"- eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two," she counts you as you approached. She turns to another lady and her child. "Excuse me ma'am, could you and your daughter wait for the next group? I am supposed to send through groups of precisely twenty."


"Yes, I suppose," says the woman nervously.


"Okay if the rest of you could step through here," she says, motioning to a door. She hesitates a moment looking at your mother's gun. "Ummm, just a moment ma'am. What is your name?"


"Haley Jane Willis," replies your mother.


The woman fiddles with a device on her arm for a bit, then looks up. "Oh," she says in a surprised tone, "that's just fine then. If you would all step into the next room please. We're already getting more people in and this first group hasn't even gone to orientation."


Your mother seems like she wants to say something, but stops herself and just heads for the door. You all walk through single file to reveal a spartan room with a table and some benches around the walls. On the table are boxes marked "vault suits" with sizes on them. The sizes are strange, being labeled simply: adult, adolescent, child, toddler, and infant. It seems they are something of a one-size fits all type of garment. Next to the table is an attractive lady in what must be a vault suit, but she also has a lab coat on over the top of it.


"Hello ladies," says the lady, "I am Doctor Romero. I am the Medical Chief of Vault 69. I am going to give you a . . . wait a moment," she makes her way over to you. "You aren't supposed to be here young man. You are supposed to be in Vault 68."


"The Protectron at the gate mistook him for a girl, and couldn't be convinced that he should go to Vault 68," says your mother.


"How odd," replies the doctor without looking away from you, or acknowledging your mother at all, "what is your name, young man?"


"Taylor Willis," you reply.


She begins to fiddle with a device on her wrist. "Middle name," she asks.


"Lynn," you say with a wince.


"Ah, here we go . . . " she says triumphantly. "Taylor Lynn Willis, age ten, height four foot seven, weight seventy-one pounds, sex . . . female?" She looks at you with an exaggerated frown as you feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Someone seems to have entered faulty data into the system. They must not have met you, or they would never have made that mistake." She winks at you playfully. "So manly. Well there is nothing we can do about that right now. We'll get you moved over to Vault 68 this evening. You'll just have to go through orientation with us ladies. How lucky we are, right ladies?" The ladies in the room laugh lightly.


"Well, as I was saying," Doctor Romero continues, "I am going to give you a vault suit. You are to enter the decontamination area to the right of the room. There you will need to disrobe completely. Put all clothing into the bin for disposal. Everyone wears vault suits in the vault." The ladies start looking at you nervously for obvious reasons. "Place any valuables into the bins marked with your name for analysis. That means everything ladies . . . and gentleman; jewelry too. Don't keep on your wedding band out of sentiment. You should have nothing on you that is removable. If your belongings can be fully decontaminated they will be returned to you. Those of you who brought luggage should leave it against the far wall. The contents will be sorted, decontaminated, and either returned to you, recycled, or incinerated; as will the luggage itself. You will need to stay in the decontamination for the full cycle before opening your hermetically sealed vault suits. Only after the light turns green are you to open your vault suits and put them on. Any questions?"


"What about him?" says a lady.


"Well," says the doctor, "the rules are the same for boys and girls alike.


"He can't be in there with us!"


"I assure you," laughs the doctor, "the room is large enough to accommodate you all. I do take your meaning, however. I understand that you may feel uncomfortable being nude with a member of the opposite sex. As we are going to be in the vault together for our entire lives, I suggest that you get used to being uncomfortable. That said, I suppose I could find my way clear to allow one, and only one additional decontamination cycle. As no one should go through decontamination alone, that means at least one person should accompany him. I see four solutions to this dilemma: Option one - Taylor and his family go through decontamination by themselves. As they are family, nudity should be less of a concern. Option two - one of you ladies without children take Taylor through decontamination. Option three - Taylor becomes my assistant for the duration of the orientation, and I take Taylor through decontamination. And finally option four - everyone stops making a big deal out of a little nudity and goes through decontamination together. What's it going to be?"


What's it going to be?