Talk:Life Hacks/(Inf/Lox)-(Preg)/(Wells House/Danica-Everybody-Gathered)/Start with Siobhan as she seems to be the most uncomfortable.: Difference between revisions
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I went ahead and polished this entry. I think there wasn't a lot of editing done, which is fine. That's what collaboration is for! We should all be more willing to edit more aggressively. If anyone is offended by any changes, just revert it. I had only intended on correcting the tense issues, but ended up expanding on things and adopted the Goldilocks points made here. [[User:Villenia|Villenia]] ([[User talk:Villenia|talk]]) 07:05, 25 October 2018 (CEST) | I went ahead and polished this entry. I think there wasn't a lot of editing done, which is fine. That's what collaboration is for! We should all be more willing to edit more aggressively. If anyone is offended by any changes, just revert it. I had only intended on correcting the tense issues, but ended up expanding on things and adopted the Goldilocks points made here. [[User:Villenia|Villenia]] ([[User talk:Villenia|talk]]) 07:05, 25 October 2018 (CEST) | ||
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The changes are good, I always look forward to input on my stories. As for the Goldlox Cock, from what I have read it does change size to accommodate the person having sex. In Jemini's version his cock shrunk to 1.5 inches to accommodate his potential anal sex with Ellie then grew to 4 inches for the vaginal sex, it shrunk again just before he had sex with Roni. The thing that changes the size of the hole is Goldisox pussy. I am pretty sure that the MC dos not have the Perfect fit cock yet, and in the other path his cock has shrunk several times. So either were both writing it wrong or something is off.[[User:Telgar|Telgar]] ([[User talk:Telgar|talk]]) 10:41, 25 October 2018 (PST) | |||
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I did say that, it was a mistake on my part that I still need to correct. I have been debating over exactly how to correct it though considering the encounter should really have worked out differently without perfect fit cock, which is what I mistook Goldilox cock for. Plus, I also got myself a little busy with midterms around the same time as the mistake was caught. That's the bigger reason it hasn't been corrected yet. I don't blame you for it, it's 100% my fault for making the mistake and then confusing you. (BTW: Once I do find the time to correct the goldilox cock changing size thing, I very well may also do some of my own edits for these passages to bring Trish and Ellie's characters a bit closer to my perspective on them that I have been maintaining for the previous passages. I will do my best to leave the facts of the scenes as is though.) [[User:Jemini|Jemini]] ([[User talk:Jemini|talk]]) 09:20, 25 October 2018 (CEST) | |||
Latest revision as of 08:05, 25 October 2018
Nice! One note though, as I pointed out in one of the other paths, the Goldilox Cock doesn't change size, it makes the hole it's going in comfortably accommodate, and larger ones just feel plenty of pleasure from a smaller size. In fact, when combined with Perfect Fit, it sounds like it won't get smaller than the current 5 inches, as smaller holes still stretch comfortably to fit, and the cock grows to fit snugly in larger ones. I'm choosing to "get on with the sex", and if I may make a suggestion, start with Siobhan. Trish and the other three girls can kneel there and get a real close view of you filling up the older girl. Hopefully all five of them will have bellies full while lunch is served, then start all over lol --Notsooldpervert (talk) 05:29, 25 October 2018 (CEST)
Hey, thanks for writing and contributing! It has been WAY too long since anyone other than me wrote anything on this story. That said, a few writing style issues that leave an obvious inconsistency between the two of us aside, one thing I would like to chime in on is the way Ellie has been reacting to things on this one. First off is the previous page where Trish mentions pregnancy. Ellie, upon hearing about this being somehow related to pregnancy, would be incredibly curious about that subject and would not let her mother just drop it or be content with going along with things until she heard more juicy details about that one.
Also, being 5, I don't think she would have a reaction like "that was fun, I want to do it again" to performing 3 bobs up and down on your cock. Most likely, she wouldn't know what to think and wouldn't simply report "that was fun" even if she did like it. Furthermore, if she did like it a lot, she would not just do 3 bobs and then get off, she would stay latched onto your cock and not relinquish it. The mere fact that she gets off after only 3 bobs if she is being written as a typical 5 year old implies that she actually thought it was weird and doesn't know what to make of it at best, or hated it at worst. (FYI, I am using the way children under 10 react to anything new or strange to them as the basis for this. Don't want my words there to be misinterpreted.)
With Ellie's character liking and trusting her mom so much, the most likely reaction is that she doesn't really see the appeal of sucking your cock but may decide that if her mommy says it's good then it must be good and maybe she will like it if she keeps doing it. Even with that opinion, it would not receive the response it did. She may use the same words, but with more hesitation and an "um" or two mixed in (although I would think entirely different dialogue would be more appropriate.
Sorry to nit-pick at it when we have the fantastic situation of a new writer contributing, characters and characterization are just important to me so I need to stick up for one of the characters I have envisioned if I see them being portrayed wrong. (I can see where it would be easy to get Ellie wrong though, I haven't done as much with her yet.) Jemini (talk) 05:43, 25 October 2018 (CEST)
I went ahead and polished this entry. I think there wasn't a lot of editing done, which is fine. That's what collaboration is for! We should all be more willing to edit more aggressively. If anyone is offended by any changes, just revert it. I had only intended on correcting the tense issues, but ended up expanding on things and adopted the Goldilocks points made here. Villenia (talk) 07:05, 25 October 2018 (CEST)
The changes are good, I always look forward to input on my stories. As for the Goldlox Cock, from what I have read it does change size to accommodate the person having sex. In Jemini's version his cock shrunk to 1.5 inches to accommodate his potential anal sex with Ellie then grew to 4 inches for the vaginal sex, it shrunk again just before he had sex with Roni. The thing that changes the size of the hole is Goldisox pussy. I am pretty sure that the MC dos not have the Perfect fit cock yet, and in the other path his cock has shrunk several times. So either were both writing it wrong or something is off.Telgar (talk) 10:41, 25 October 2018 (PST)
I did say that, it was a mistake on my part that I still need to correct. I have been debating over exactly how to correct it though considering the encounter should really have worked out differently without perfect fit cock, which is what I mistook Goldilox cock for. Plus, I also got myself a little busy with midterms around the same time as the mistake was caught. That's the bigger reason it hasn't been corrected yet. I don't blame you for it, it's 100% my fault for making the mistake and then confusing you. (BTW: Once I do find the time to correct the goldilox cock changing size thing, I very well may also do some of my own edits for these passages to bring Trish and Ellie's characters a bit closer to my perspective on them that I have been maintaining for the previous passages. I will do my best to leave the facts of the scenes as is though.) Jemini (talk) 09:20, 25 October 2018 (CEST)