Talk:Disciplinary Action/Disciplinary Office/First Week/Cutting Class/Caught/Tihana/Impregnate/Explain/Rape/Trick

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I had to do a bit of head jumping in this one in order to really get the effect I wanted. This scene is more or less finished, I might or might not write one more paragraph before adding in the options. I just have a hard time finishing scenes in the same writing session I write them. Especially the intense ones, it requires too much of a shift of mental gears in order to shift over to the calm mindset needed to write out the options. Jemini (talk) 15:09, 18 January 2018 (CET)

Yeah I found the head hopping a little confusing. One thing I suggest is something to indicate a separation between the pars that are from Johns POV and Tihana's POV. Also a little less detail in the description of what bathers are, it kinda turns what should be a bit of an erotic moment for the reader into something a little more clinical. --Telgar (talk) 0635, 18 January 2018 (PST)

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