Talk:Yes/Chad/Try to merge all three at once

I'm not sure about this passage. I may be reworking it a bit . . . hmmm can't quite put my finger on the problem though. --Elerneron (talk) 00:13, 8 January 2017 (CET)

Seems alright with me. I suppose you could have strengthened the romance a little, and reassure her she could have sex whenever she was ready, but there is no rush. When you put her to bed, don't forget to let her know about the required nudism for the next week. Might also want to have a quick break in the bathroom. A quick pep talk/interrogation in the mirror might effect quite a few good changes in physical ability, stamina, and recovery time lol --Notsooldpervert (talk) 01:22, 8 January 2017 (CET)

Well, I agree that it can be improved. After considering for a moment, it looks like the issue is that this just seems too formulaicly goal oriented. Basically, the goal is stated and it goes straight for it without much for unexpected difficulty. This is not necessarily bad, but if you want to up your writing a level then it is something that can be improved upon. As for the exact method of improvement, that is more up to individual creativity, whether it is more flourish on the words, emphasizing some internal conflict, or something completely unexpected happening. (It is worth noting, breaking the expected is only a good thing until it becomes expected that you are going to break the expected.) Jemini (talk) 02:23, 8 January 2017 (CET)